Mindful in your practice, are you?

 

One of my designs I have written down is to wake at 5.30 each morning, another is to take a morning walk. I have put these goals into writing as lately I have found it next to impossible to rouse myself before late morning/mid afternoon, and sometimes I barely set foot outside for days at a time. The chronic fatigue that limits my activities hit me quite hard this year, I am glad to say that I am now in the process of building myself up again.

So I was very happy that these designs have seeped into my consciousness and this morning I awoke at 5, and after a 20 minute meditation MP3 I went for a walk at the local lakes. The first thing that greeted me upon arrival was a fox, and being a nature lover this was amazing for me.

Why am I telling you all this?

Well, I wanted to talk about mindfulness today. It is a subject that I am very interested in, it is also not an easy skill to develop.

When I talk about mindfulness, this word conjures up different ideas to each person – the associations we have about a word often leads to misunderstandings.  This is just a word which points to a truer meaning behind it, look to the underlying principle and see how it applies to you.

This is not a philosophy, but rather it is just a process by which we still our mind so that we can appreciate the environment around us and within. We become the observer of our mind and in this way diminish it’s power over us.

• It’s an uncovering of who we really are!

I have been practicing mindfulness for some time now, and whilst I can remain present (appreciating the moment) much of the time, I still have much to do to allow this to become a permanent habit.

The image I found for today’s post accurately describes my walk of this morning (as well as most of my daily routines) Sometimes I am the man with thoughts rushing through his head, and sometimes I am the young girl (figuratively speaking of course!)

So how do you introduce a practice of mindfulness into your life! – remember that I said it is just a process, we don’t need to do anything more special than stop ourselves every so often throughout the day to metaphorically ‘smell the roses.’

Do this with your activities that have become routine:

• In the shower – feel the water and the heat on your head and body, be invigorated by this cleansing ritual
• Eating – slow down, enjoy each mouthful and taste each bite (still working on this one!)
• Washing up – be grateful for the process of cleaning your environment, for the food and drink that you have enjoyed
• Walking – feel the ground underneath you, smell the flowers, hear the sounds all around (you can even appreciate the sounds of the traffic this way)
• Smoking – being mindful of each inhalation and every cigarette I smoked helped me to quit this habit with little effort (some effort at first, but not much)

We are always fighting against everything, minor problems become disasters, small annoyances become huge arguments.

Learn to let go little by little, then you can enjoy life as it is! Minor problems will be dealt with, small annoyances can be let go of. When we change our perception, we realise that we have choice! and  choice is the power to be happy, to be mindful.

When I was in my teens there was a moment that stands out clearly in my recollection;  the world seemed to spin around me and wouldn’t stop, it felt like a merry-go-round that I could not get off. (I had other experiences like that but they were all induced by alcohol – so I found a remedy for that situation too)

It was caused by all the thoughts that were running through my head which I couldn’t shut off. It was really a horrible feeling and looking back now I believe it caused me to become more aware of the damage that thoughts can do to us. There are lessons in every event if we choose to look!

To make this a fun process concentrate on appreciating the positive in our life, don’t focus on removing the negative – that will naturally happen as a by-product of being happy.

What we focus on we create.

This will always be a work in progress, so view it as a continuous development and don’t worry if you don’t see results straight away.

side note – whilst writing this article on mindfulness, I have still been distracted half a dozen times!

Have fun with it, don’t try – as this is counterproductive, just add little reminders into each day.

Appreciate, laugh and smile.

 

Photo: Mind Full v. Mindful, by Heidi Forbes Öste   cc by 2.0

7 Steps to a Happier Life

• Exercise

Everyone ‘knows’ the importance of exercise so I’m not going to go through the many, many benefits of this step.

However, we may ‘intellectually know‘ as my mentor often says, but if we are not applying it then we don’t really ‘know!‘

I continue to struggle with exercise on a daily basis due to health constraints, so even if physical exercise is difficult for you add a regular walking habit into your life – even if just for 5-10 minutes a day.

The benefit for those of us interested in ‘being the architect of our minds’ is that it slows us down, we become more conscious of the endless scripts running through our head. You can even integrate this step with step #2 which is:

 

• Spend time in nature

Fresh air, exercise, appreciating the beauty of life, gratitude for the abundance around us. There are Hundreds upon Hundreds of reasons why this leads to happiness.

Now, even if you live in the midst of a city there are always areas of natural beauty (Also good training for always seeking out the best in life)

Let us just focus on contemplation – We may appreciate the natural world but do we ever take time to learn from nature? Do we take ourselves out of our own heads and simply watch what is going on around us. Not rushing for our camera to capture the moment and not actually living that moment first (or afterwards, as there is nothing wrong with capturing something special to share)

I am a great bird lover, and the first time I saw a hummingbird I was so busy trying to set the camera that it disappeared without me experiencing the joy of simple observation – I learnt from that experience I am happy to say.

So, can we learn to accept each moment as it is, without judgement, without labels, without attaching time to it! Go for a walk and see what you can contemplate today.

 

• Declutter

Just like a detox cleanses our bodies, a declutter (or spring clean) cleanses our mind. Start small; maybe take time to clear your work area or that drawer you’ve been meaning to – you know the one!. Work your way around the house.

I recently decluttered my laptop – clearing emails, deleting old files I no longer needed and getting rid of the bookmarks for web pages I am never going to read. It felt great to finally do this job that had been in the back of my mind for ages.

When I properly cleaned out my home (choosing a ‘less is more‘ approach to life) I sold lots of ‘stuff’ at a car boot sale, which was a fun experience as well as making some money in the process. Get rid of old clothes, old books you will never read, DVDs – The more you do this the freer you will feel and you won’t collect so much for next time.

Unfortunately, due to the law of inertia, we do build up ‘stuff’ all the time, so practice little and often so our next habit is a little easier:

 

• Cut out overwhelm

Does this sound like I am asking the impossible? Have you already discovered the secret?

Wouldn’t life be much simpler if we could take just this one step?

How? How do we cut out overwhelm? Especially with all these other steps to follow!

Often we find advice that we instinctively feel would help us, we try to do everything at once, we worry that we’re not doing it right, that we aren’t getting the results we expected! Eventually it becomes too much and we quit altogether.

I have done this many times in the past, and there are a few steps we can take to remedy this.

If you have a goal in mind (better on paper!) and you aren’t attached to the result then you cannot worry about not achieving it. Look to what you desire to achieve –don’t become fixated on attaining it, look to the next step you can take and focus on that. Often you will find what you achieve is more than you thought could be possible.

If you only focus on each step at a time and don’t allow yourself to be rushed then how can overwhelm get you?

If you ‘believe’ that multi-tasking is a good thing, then please look into that belief and ‘feel’ if it is really true!

Multi-tasking is the opposite of mindful living, you may be able to do two jobs fairly well but you aren’t appreciating either. If you live as though you need to get everything done at once then this will continue until something snaps.

Do one job at a time, be conscious whilst you are doing that job.

One way of cutting out overwhelm for me was by selling my television, I was able to do this because it felt right at the time. You will know what feels right for you to do.

Cutting out overwhelm leads to our next step:

 

• Mindfulness

Practicing this step will also increase your ability in all the other steps

Take 5 minutes out of everyday just to sit, stare out of a window and observe life – observe not only what is happening outside but also what is happening inside your body/mind.

Don’t judge what you see, hear or feel and don’t attach labels and names to things. We are learning how to observe with stillness, stillness of body and stillness of mind. This is possible with regular practice.

Just see how you can enjoy this time. When your mind starts judging or adding labels (and it will) then simply observe it, by doing this you dissolve it’s power.

 

• Goal Setting

Now that we have learnt how to control our mind (a continuous process, so don’t worry about not being perfect) we can move onto setting goals without putting up a major barrier in the way.

Our mind (our ego voice) wants to keep us safe; it actually wants to keep itself alive and so tells us that change is bad, if we do something new then we could get hurt.

We feel that goal setting is right for us – as ‘Architects of our Minds’ we desire to live a life that we are directing, not one that is being directed; we allow our minds to erode our resolve though. This is why this step comes later, rather than earlier in the process.

Think of goal setting as though you were a child and you are dreaming about what your life would be, it’s not work – it is pleasure.

Once we see results through our smaller goals (goals just outside our comfort zone) then we will KNOW that we will see results with our larger designs.

See my series on: Happy in the Future, or Happy NOW!

 

• Live with Passion

You might think that this step comes at the beginning but you can’t really fake passion, you can fake excitement, and you can fake motivation, but you can’t fake the passion that will inspire you to overcome whatever ‘obstacles’ may befall you!

I uncovered my Vision through working on my goals, discovering where my past had led me and the lessons I had learnt, taking note of what has filled me with passion before.

Once I uncovered my Grand Vision, I discovered my passion, I discovered my inspiration.

The path is still rocky at times, instead, my perspective of these hurdles has changed. Passion is the energy to transmute problems into lessons, difficulties into learning experiences.

All of you will be at different points of your journey, some steps you will be taking, some you may even have mastered – just look to the next step and take that.

Celebrate your successes and the journey you are on.

If you have any other steps that you use in your life to realise the happiness inside then please comment below and share your journey too.

When Sacrifice isn’t a Sacrifice!

Where is your Vision Leading You?

I have three questions which I ask myself regularly:

The first is: How Can I Provide Value to Others?

I search inside and question what my strengths are, what are my weaknesses. How can I use these to benefit others?

I look to my past to see what my story is, what have I learnt that can solve a problem that other people face?

What have I overcome that now I can use to be of service to those I come into contact with?

For many years I struggled with thinking that nobody was interested in anything that I had to say, I was plagued by fears and doubts. The truth was that I wasn’t living a life of true value to myself – I hadn’t found my big WHY! and therefore every day felt like a ship on a stormy ocean, just on the edge of sinking.

I know that there are many of you out there who don’t think your story is worth telling, I want to say something to you now…..

and I trust that you are listening……

because…..

that voice repeating this ‘script’ in your head ISN’T YOU!

You can choose to ignore it – it may take time and some effort, but it is the most important thing that you can do to Start Living Your Life On Purpose.

The second is: What New Skills and Techniques do I Need to Learn?

In what ways can I reach other people and what must I learn in order to do so.

Just like Dan Millman had Socrates – is there someone in my life who is acting as a mentor on this part of my journey? This person could be someone close to me or someone I get to know through their books and training courses. What are they teaching me? Am I able to express my gratitude by passing that teaching on.

When we read any Hero’s Journey, there is always an element of sacrifice at some point. It is at the point when the mentor sees that something provides no value in our growth but we are yet to understand this.

It is only when we finally manage to let go of our attachment to whatever is holding us back that we see we never needed it in the first place.

I have had many of these moments in my past, I am still growing and so I know there will be more moments ahead. With presence this step becomes easier, with knowing your grand design (your ultimate goal and vision in life) the path becomes smoother still. Yet there is still an element of sacrifice at times.

It is the ego voice trying to keep us tethered to what it knows – which is only the past, and therefore how can we grow as a person if we listen to this voice?

When we sacrifice we can then move forward, we know that we will make mistakes – how many mistakes did you make as a child when you learnt not only to walk but to speak, read and write?

Say to Yourself – “I fear the failure and do it anyway”

Be open to making mistakes; don’t let them paralyse you into inaction. Success lies on the far side of failure.

So the third question is: What Must I Sacrifice in Order to Succeed?

• Do you know yet what it is that inspires you to succeed?
• What drives you forward?
• What is your Grand Design in life?

Don’t worry if you don’t – it is all part of the journey. Enjoy the path you are taking, there is no rush.

Look to your life to see what it is that holds you back. I decided that for 30 days I would cut out all TV and fiction reading – Is there anything wrong with either of these? It depends on the material you choose but for me I was using it as an escape from living my life.

That is what you need to cut out. Ask yourself “Is there an activity that I do that brings no value?”

Don’t associate this with pain or hard work though. In the last 21 days I have been more effective than ever before, I have achieved more each day and still had time to relax, I have listened to more music. In short I have enjoyed my life far more – and therefore…

What was there to sacrifice?

The most important benefit for me has been working on my designs and discovering my Grand Design in life. This gives me the focus to put other things into perspective, which means when my 30 days is up I won’t allow these influences to burden me, instead they will be a refreshment and relaxation as they were meant to be!

And actually I am in the process of selling my TV as I no longer need it in my life 🙂

n.b. This doesn’t mean that I will never watch TV again, I happen to love certain shows and films.

Are you willing to undergo a little discomfort now or accept a lot of discomfort for the rest of your life!

Let me know below some of the things that you feel could be holding you back, do you feel that you would have trouble letting them go!

Important Note – It took me many years before I reached the point where I felt able to let TV go, before that it took many years for me to remove the poison that alcohol left in my life. I don’t feel angry that it took me so long but just imagine what your life could be like if you could make that decision now!

Photo: Tunnel Vision, by Kylie_Jaxxon   cc by-sa 2.0

Do You Read TOO Much!

 

This is one of my favourite subjects – I love reading, sometimes I could probably read to the exclusion of all else. Books are full of knowledge and as the verse above points out there is no end to the making of books (Which is great news for us bibliophiles)

When it comes to living your life on purpose then too many books are counter-productive. Knowledge isn’t the same as wisdom, and so I want to show you how you can glean the most wisdom (applied knowledge) from the books you read.

Are You New to Personal Development?

If you are new to the personal development world then my advice is to read lots. Read a huge variety of books, and by doing this you will start to see which books make sense to you, which ones you resonate with. You will begin to build up an understanding of who you are and where you are heading.

whilst reading spend time in thinking about what you are learning – then you will discover some of your strengths and some of your weaknesses. This is all part of the amazing journey of self-discovery that you are on and should be celebrated.

Have You Been Studying for Some Time?

Most people get ‘stuck’ at the first stage, sometimes this is down to fear but I believe it is often because we don’t ‘KNOW’ what we want! We continue to keep searching hoping that the answer will be presented to us – and never realising that the answers are in front of us but we are too busy looking ahead for ‘the real solution’

One way to move beyond stage one is to focus your search.

Narrow down your reading to maybe five or six books (I wouldn’t recommend more than this otherwise you will find yourself back in stage one)

There will be books that you have an affinity with or which resonate with you. Pick a couple to start with, focus on the niche that interests you most – use your feelings to help you decide here.

Important – Take copious notes whilst reading, use underlining and highlighting, apply anything that you think would be of benefit to you.

A New Mindset to Reading!

At this point we want to change our action plan:

We are now only going to focus on two or three core books; from your actions in stage two you will have a clearer idea of your interests. If you have been working on your designs (goals) at the same time then you will have an idea where you are heading.

Our aim in stage three is not to get through the books as quickly as possible – we are going to slow right down!

If you allot time to reading then allocate some of that time to quality contemplation of the material. It is best to spend at least as much time thinking about what you read as you spend on reading itself.

For example, you can read a chapter, segment, paragraph or even a sentence and then spend about 5-10 minutes comparing it to what you already know, questioning your own judgements, and seeing how to use it in your life.

I also recommend re-reading these books, if you found that one wasn’t as helpful (or maybe it’s not the right time for the information) then swap it out for another. Always re-read at least twice, preferably more. As you progress, the information you have already processed will take on new meaning.

I don’t allocate a particular time to read (as reading is no hardship for me) but spending time in contemplation is a bit trickier. I am fortunate now – I have discovered that active daydreaming in my life is fun, relaxing and ultimately helps me to achieve more in my life.

By going back to books I have already read I never miss out but in fact gain much more than if I had continued to read without restraint.

TAKING ACTION is as important as contemplation, by slowing down we allow ourselves to take action on what we have read – through contemplation and action, change will come, reading alone will not do it.

A good exercise to try – as you are going through each book, write out what points you need help with, what you think you are doing wrong and which parts you are going to use. Regularly go through these notes to increase absorption of the material.

 

“There is no labour from which most people shrink as they do from that of sustained and consecutive thought; it is the hardest work in the world” ~The Science of Getting Rich, Wallace D Wattles

It may be the hardest work to start off with – after all we have been trained in a completely different way – but it is the most rewarding work that you could ever embark upon.

Explore, Dream, Discover!

Let me know below which books you find the most inspiring, do you re-read and what benefits do you get from this process?

Photo: Books, by Scott Rettberg   cc by-sa 2.0 (bible quote added by me)

Happy in the Future or Happy NOW! part 2

 

BACK TO THE FUTURE!

Does the Future Exist? Does your Past Exist?

As a concept this pretty much blew me away when I first understood the implications.

Our pain can only come from two places – the past (regrets) and the future (unfulfilled expectations)

We constantly berate ourselves for things we have done wrong, and we secretly hope that something will come along in the ‘future’ to save us! – the lottery, sudden bonus at work!, perfect partner.

Is that a position of power or weakness though? In this narrative are you the hero of your story or the victim?

Did you know that you could even choose!

Take away any blame for the past – blame of yourself or other people/events, take away your expectations that the future will somehow save you…

YOU ARE LEFT IN A POSITION OF POWER

Only the NOW MOMENT exists – you can neither do anything in the past (it was simply a series of now moments that have gone and now live entirely in your mind) nor can you do anything in the future (it is only a series of now moments waiting to be lived)

Is there anything that you can do either in the past or in the future? – You only ever have the present moment.

There is ONLY ONE WAY to be happy in the future – and that is to be happy NOW!

It really is a choice that you can make.

If you are not happy now, then nothing in the future will EVER make you truly happy and at peace. Why? –  because you have trained yourself to not be happy in the moment and you have trained yourself to keep on ‘hoping’ for something to make you happy in the future.

Yesterday we talked about goals and goal setting (Happy in the Future or Happy NOW! part 1)  which by definition are ‘in the future’,  and the reason we get frustrated by goals not appearing to come to fruition is because we depend on the result to provide us happiness.

As we have just been talking about this will never work

So what is the answer?

• We become happy now, if we are in a situation that we label negative then we observe our reactions and this transmutes into peace.
• We set goals for ourselves but with the intention that it will only add to our happiness, not that our happiness is dependent on the result!
• We then work on our goals but disassociate from your expectations. – this step is probably the most difficult and one that I am still working on every day.

And by doing these things we create our future moments in the now

Whatever the outcome of our goals –WE WIN, we know that no matter what happens we can grow from our experiences.

I said at the outset that our pain can only come from two places – The Past or The Future.

Now that we have realised neither of these places exist except in our mind, we have now tracked our pain back to only one place – OUR MIND!

This is why controlling our mind is the most important step in our process.

If you found benefit here then subscribe to my blog to receive updates on future posts.

Part 3 will be How To Be Happy Now

 

 

 

Photo: Happiness, by donireewalker   cc by 2.0

Happy in the Future or Happy NOW! part 1

The power of goals to design our ideal life!

What does goal setting have to do with happiness?

By achieving xyz will we attain happiness? Will happiness will magically come to us at some point in the future? Will someone come along and give us happiness?  – None of this is true and you can never be happy this way, however living a purposeful and joyful life can be increased through correct goal setting – The starting place for this is the same technique that allows us to be happy now.

But isn’t goal setting hard work? Does it even work?

Everything we achieve each day is down to our natural goal setting ability.

We don’t normally go through the process of writing these goals down but we use the correct techniques.

Lets say we desire to go out for the day! It’s sunny, we’re feeling good and we’re going to enjoy doing something fun.

So we set an intention: we desire to go out! – Step #1 (this is our destination)

We brainstorm ways of getting there! – Step #2 (i.e. where will we go?, how will we get? there, what do we take?)

We weigh up our different options – Step #3 (we make a list of what to do – this may be purely internal or it may be on paper)

We focus only on each part as it comes up – Step #4 (maybe we have to make a packed lunch, maybe we have to fill up the car with fuel)

WE TAKE ACTION! – This is why our bigger goals never materialise and it is due to a missing ingredient……

                We have to know this is a goal we can achieve!

The reason that we believe (read here – our ego convinces us) that goal setting doesn’t work is when it comes to this crucial ingredient of KNOWING WE CAN ACHIEVE IT! –  our mind convinces us that because of one of our many faults, we could never achieve that!

What happens is we are ‘hoping’ that this time it will be different – all the time having our mind tell us that no it won’t! The mind loves to prove itself correct, we fail in our goal and the ego is safe for another day, or week, or year – as each time this happens we entrench the belief further that goal setting doesn’t work – or even worse –  it doesn’t work for us!

How can we escape this?………..

We become enlightened – and all I mean by this is that we shine the light of observation upon the ego and it’s tricks.

We set small and medium sized goals – we envision them happening, we focus on knowing that we can achieve our goal, when the ego speaks up then we recognise it, we ask it why we can’t achieve xyz, we listen to the answer without judgement and then we set out some steps we might take to accomplish xyz.

Then we FOCUS only on the next step – by doing this we will not be overwhelmed asking ourselves all the time “how am I going to achieve this?”

We will be enjoying the journey instead…..

Doesn’t that sound like it may be fun?

 

Can we choose to see it as fun?

Ask yourself – “why does my ego think this isn’t fun?”

This part of the process must be accompanied by some thinking time and self reflection – only in your own mind can change start to occur.

After all, we are designing our ideal life aren’t we – We’ve all daydreamed about it at odd times in our life – well now we are doing the same but on purpose instead!

We are creating in ourselves a lifelong habit of living on purpose and stretching our goal setting/achieving muscles to move onto our big goals.

 

What is the hidden purpose behind every goal?

“I am a millionaire!” – why do you desire this?

Is it because of the title? How will it make you feel to be called a millionaire? Is it so you can then give up your 9-5 job or the shift work you currently have to do? How will that make you feel? Is it so you can then buy all the things you think you want? How will that make you feel? Is it so you can treat your friends and family, you can give more to charity – how will all these things make you feel?

“I travel all over the world!” – why do you desire this?

Because then every day will be amazing? – how does it make you feel? So you can meet new people – how does that make you feel? So you can broaden your horizons – how does that make you feel?

By questioning all of your goals and seeing where it leads to, you will discover that the hidden purpose behind every goal is happiness! – There will be different steps inbetween but ultimately it tracks back to happiness. Explore all the reasons behind your goals (you don’t have to do it all at one time) feel the inspiration that comes from knowing why you are setting your goals.

 

By working on our goals in this way we are setting out on a journey of discovery – it was through this process that I uncovered my truly big life goals, and that I started to know that I would achieve them.

This is my goal, my desire and my design for you!

Jump to the next article in this series

On your journey may you have happy travels.

Let me know your experiences with goal setting in the comments below.

 

Photo: Happiness, by donireewalker   cc by 2.0

What is Your Unique Story!

What is Your Unique Story?

You are an amazingly unique person. It is truly astounding that we never really appreciate this fact. Even when we do take time out to appreciate it, it’s not long before our minds rally us off in some other direction.

Of all the 7 billion people on the planet, no-one has had the same experiences, the same background and interests, the same loves and hates, as you!

Our unique life path, if we allow it can show us the way to our passions and our dreams.

The reason that we don’t appreciate who we are is simple……

There is a voice that is with us 24/7 which is undermining everything that we do or want to do.

If you silence your mind right now and contemplate nothing for at least 30 seconds then you will be introduced to this saboteur!

This is the voice of the ego – it is the reason we make the same mistakes time and time again, and therefore appear to be stuck. We aren’t stuck, it is our ego voice which through trying to keep us safe (and thereby protecting itself) stops us from getting out of our comfort zone.

For some of us this voice may be fairly quiet, for a lot of us it is loud and insistent.

Is there an escape from this voice?

Thankfully, there is of course an escape. And it is something that more and more people are beginning to become aware of.

We cannot escape the ego voice through fighting it – this makes it stronger!

We cannot escape the ego voice through blame or judgements – this makes it stronger!

We cannot escape the ego voice through associating with it – yep, you guessed it!

The only way to silence this voice is through detached observation.

Once we know that voice is there, and that actually it isn’t our voice after all (this may take a while for some people to detach from – it did me!) Then we are free to observe without judgement and without blame or anger.

When we notice that there is a part of us that can separate from the ego voice and observe it, then we become more in tune with the power that is inside all of us!

Then we can revisit our past, with no judgement and we can see the clues that are littered there as to where we are heading.

OUR PAST DOES NOT = OUR FUTURE…..

But it can give us hints as to where we want our story to go and in that way you can use your unique story to inspire others.

If you found this helpful or instructive in any way then please leave a comment, I would love to hear about the journey you are on too.

For more information – download my FREE Report – 5 Steps to Create Your Life!

I am humbled and gratified that you have chosen to spend this time travelling with me, human interaction is always a two-way learning experience

 

 

Photo: Life story on book, by Trung Bui Viet   cc by-sa 2.0